17 Comments

Whew. Guilt. The guilt I feel over the income I spend from my family on clothes when my husband is content wearing the same pants for 15 years in a row. The guilt I feel spending time getting ready when my kids could give a hoot what I wear. The guilt I WILL feel on Thanksgiving when my MIL side eyes my outfit with a passive aggressive comment too. You nailed so much of the guilt I feel related to loving (LOVING!!) clothes. Honestly, it’s just so good to know I’m not alone.

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The guilt i feel over the income i spend from family is REAL. My husband always reminds me I do important work and deserve to enjoy the fruits.

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Yes! I have the most supportive husband, sounds like yours! And yet it’s the voice in the back of my mind sometimes.

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That voice we need to observe and let slowly fade🥹

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You wear the beaded collar so well! It's one of those things that will always be beautiful no matter what is trending.

Do you mean this one by Glenn Mae? It's a good one! https://trashpanic.substack.com/p/does-it-bode-well (in it she also links to an article by The Cut about the brand).

I've always found a bit of guilt to be good for me because I think it reminds me to think critically and self reflect, and I think people who never ever feel guilt should try it some time. Better guilt than self-denial right? It can be so paralysing, but ultimately, I think I've accepted guilt as a sign that I care about something...

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That was the one!!! What a great piece. Thank you for sharing it. I thought of it when I got my handmade collar from eBay. And it felt better than the Bode!

And yes, the guilt is sometimes just simple, much needed self-awareness (freud’s “super yo”?)

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Just have to say, among all the beautiful styling choices here, the one that most inspired me was your daughter’s - the striped Breton-style thin sweater with the graphic tee underneath showing through the white! Can’t wait to try this to bring some subtle punk feel to a classic striped top!

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Glad you noticed because she saw me wearing that sweater in the morning and begged me to let her wear it to school. She said she loved the blue stripes and how soft it felt (cashmere😅). I got it back with pieces of mulch stuck to it, but it made a great oufit

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THANK YOU, Laura, for this realness. And so much more.

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💚

〰️

Thankful for you

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Wow another amazing piece Laura! while I respect everyone’s opinion on what is and isn’t art it’s just that, an opinion. It can neither be right nor wrong, true nor false. The relief for me has come for reminding myself not everyone has to agree with my understanding of style/art, whether it is art or it isn’t. I just get to enjoy it for myself. I cannot stress how much I love the outfits you share, you always give me ideas and that’s to me is the beauty of seeing other people’s style and their approach to it. There is always something to learn from others. Ps those eBay finds are spectacular! I def need to look into eBay more after my no buy. And that collar! Just stunning!💖

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I feel a lot of this too; I’m sure many of us can relate. Fashion is such a complicated thing because there is the artful part of it, the pure love of creativity and the sensuality of textiles that can’t be denied. But then all the guilt that we’re ruining the planet and spending too much money. I definitely have that. And dealing with the part of my nature that always wants more. I also feel what I would call insecurity about writing my newsletter - that I’ve lured people to it and when will I run out of things to say and am I pretty enough or stylish enough to warrant attention? Shouldn’t I be painting rather than doing such a superficial thing? I have that guilt too…that I’m wasting too much time.

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The fear of running out of things to say has been with me since day one. But magically, something always comes up when we are in the disposition to create. Perhaps not at the exact moment we need it, but when we finally go for that walk and stop forcing it.

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I’ve found this as well. At first there’s a blank space and then something comes. It’s amazing

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The guilt comes from outside, it's fear of other people's judgment and people do love to claim that a passion for clothes (for the things that clothe us, keep us acceptable to society, keep us warm and protected, express our emotions/heritage/selves) is trivial. Turn it back on itself and revel in the joy it gives you.

And, fabulous beaded collar, worn so well!

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This. Even the bible says ‘man does not live by bread alone’ so idk why we humans moralize it so much.

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