On guilt.

+ my whole eBay accessory wishlist.

You’re getting this week’s newsletter a little early because Friday, I’ll be hosting Thanksgiving. We celebrate a bit later since Jeff works on Thursday, which gives us an extra day to pull everything together and settle into the holiday mood. Wishing you a warm and joyful Thanksgiving!

L.

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I thought about doing another clothes edit—not because I have something particularly new to share but rather because I am trying to avoid going inward. Yes. Clothes make the inward outward and are a great way for thoughts to emerge to the surface. A device. Or a great roundabout, a way to get to the same point I would reach just by sitting still and writing down the things I don’t want to think about.

What things?

Guilt, for one.

There’s always guilt. Guilt for not being practical/realistic with my outfit recommendations. Guilt for thinking this is my art, especially after I heard someone subtly suggest it is not. And maybe they are right. Valerie Steele said fashion is not art. It’s fashion. And that’s it—it doesn’t need the allure of art to be valuable.

Guilt because, as Haley Nahman said on her last newsletter, fashion is inextricable from vanity. And do I love to be vein!? And constructing myself in the act of self-exposure, growing a bit too fond of turning myself into an image and inevitably losing some contact with the bodily experience of getting dressed.

Guilt if I find myself too hyperfixated with someone else’s look. Guilt if I don’t practice what I preach and try to suppress (rather unsuccessfully) the hard-to-encounter perplexity someone else causes in me, instead of simply enjoying it.

Guilt for wanting the $1150 Bode beaded skirt. Even after reading that Substack piece circulating on the ethics of Bode (can’t find it, pls reference it if you do.) Guilt for considering vintage from eBay as a substitute, knowing fully well it won’t satisfy. Because the beading is different. Because there‘s no Bode tag? And God forbid I want the status promised by a brand.

God forbid I don’t find respite from not wanting anything hard enough to pull the trigger. Especially during all the sales and thoughtful gift recommendations splashing my inbox. Including the High Sports—those pants. That shape. Flattering. And then, guilt for wanting flattering. Even though the cropped flare pants I’ve had from Zara since 2018 I wear all the time. And I love every time I put them on. So why upgrade to something better? XUE recently compared the tendency to attribute moral value to our consumption choices the way we do in diet culture and that resonated so hard. Organic? Good. Not organic? Bad. McDonalds? Bad. Real beef? Also bad.

Then there’s the fear of having exhausted all my thoughts and finally revealing the emptiness.

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Wait, I do have something new to share. A handmade collar similar (better?) to another Bode piece I was coveting: the Geode collar:

And guess what, the handmade without the Bode tag completely satisfied:

This is how I’m planning to wear it for dinner with Jeff in Miami

Matteau fishermen pants, Tibi sandals.

This is how I wore it pick up my daughters and their friends from school last week

A real day-to-night.

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I also have some eBay gems I would feel too guilty not to share:

Cobalt blue brooch // Green shell brooch // Gold shell pendant necklace // Puffy clam pendant // green horizontal brooch // abstracted shell necklace // Jade teardrop fringe pendant

70’s beach scene wood handle bag / Green beaded sequin floral fringe purse / Beaded shell black purse / White floral 50’s bag / Delill black and cream palm tree musicians scene bag /Carolyne Barton black velvet purse / Fish seahorse needlepoint bag

Guiltless happy shopping

L.