Thank you for the shout-out! There's a difference between being humorously critical and punching down on other people. Seeing the screenshots of Amy's IG stories reminds me why I'm better off on my own. I have no need to label other people's style in order to figure out my own. It's not a race. (And of course, having said that: I still appreciate Amy's style knowledge, business chops, and all that.)
This...hits. When I first started following Tibi (during peak COVID, like many others, I suspect), I felt like I had found a home. Granted, Tibi is far out of my price range, but it felt like a brand that was trying to lead with ideas and community. It didn't matter if you couldn't afford the clothes full-priced; what mattered was if you wanted to talk about style in a substantive way. It felt different and against the increasingly out-of-reach fashion landscape, so welcome.
Lately, though, I've been disengaging, for many of the reasons you mention here. It's become so much more focused on selling specific products and by extension, membership in a specific group to which I do not belong. I feel that the mentions of the target demographic--executive, lawyer, etc--have become much more frequent and overt. References to "our clients" scan as illustrative of a club to which I cannot belong. I've noticed more criticism of people, and where I once felt welcome, despite not fitting the ideal client mold, I now feel excluded. Maybe I'm projecting, but the dialogue here makes me feel like there's been a shift.
A couple things I've been telling myself. One is that brands are not people, and they are not your friends. I think Tibi has blurred that line by foregrounding the people behind the brand so much, but ultimately: it's a brand. I think the way they've humanized the brand has been double-edged; on the one hand, having actual people affiliated with a brand speak directly to you is nice! On the other hand, it creates an illusion of intimacy and personability that is maybe just that--an illusion. The other is that one brand doesn't have to own the conversation about personal style. In fact, it's oxymoronic to suggest that it should! I've connected with a lot of wonderful people (many of whom are expressing similar things) through the community that Tibi has built. All of our own beliefs and perspectives about style are equally valid, even if we don't have the platform and the $500 shirts through which to channel them. Let's keep lifting each other up and widening the conversation!!
Absolutely. I understand that brands have target audiences, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I was just a customer who happened to love creative pragmatism as a style approach. I wasn’t part of the Tibi community. And even though I’m not their target audience, I still connected with the concept of CP and wore the brand a lot. It’s just so sad to discover that CP isn’t what I thought it was after I endorsed it 100% on my piece.
I feel like how the brand defines it (or at least how it applies the definition) has changed somewhat! I definitely connected with it, but now it feels like rather than a personal tool or a framework for making sense of how to connect to your wardrobe, it's being used as a measuring stick to against which to assess other people's style (or your own). It's subtle but I feel like I've noticed that more in recent posts and style classes!
to be clear: still love the brand! and amy's writing and thought process. this is all stemming from personal feeling: this time last year, i felt actually WELCOME by the brand; i even got a rando invite to their show (me! an early-30s nonprofit worker!) and it felt like they were trying to reach beyond the work of selling to a particular set. now, i'm not so sure! certainly, it's felt like it's changed.
I didn’t focus much on the retreat talk, but it seemed like she was celebrating these incredible women without putting down those with different lifestyles or ideas of success. Did you catch something I missed?
Thanks for sharing. I participate in the CP world much like you. Avid style class watcher, follow many of the CP base, and shop sale and resale. I have become increasingly aware, I’m not who Amy is talking to. Even though I once felt excited to feel like I belonged in that CP space and mindset. And lately. There is this mean girls undercurrent? I couldn’t put my finger on it - you did a great job here doing just that
I have spent a small fortune on Tibi over the years but I have really gone off the brand because of the mean girl undercurrent. It came to a head for me when Amy posted a screenshot of a group thread when they were traveling to do the photoshoot for this fall’s collection. She quickly deleted it but multiple team members including Amy were belittling the other passengers on the plane, saying they had no style, complaining about coconut scented shampoo, and suggesting they fly private next time. So much for “there’s no such thing as good or bad style”. It honestly made me nauseous and I can’t get it out of my head when I look at their marketing content or watch the lives ☹️
Laura, bravo to you for your precise analysis. You’ve put words to some vague feelings I’ve been grappling with. I’ve become a tibi/amy acolyte over the past year, and I adore what she’s doing stylistically. The CP concept speaks to me. I have devoured her writing and lessons on proportion, the good ick, the color wheel- it’s all super legit. The recent mullet stuff kind of lost me, though. Like you, I read those posts and the Substack, and I started feeling some nagging self-doubt: wait, am I being ironic (please!) or have I just stepped out in a mullet (god no!)?
For me, fashion is a fantastic way to express myself. And sometimes, frankly, I just want to goof off with my clothes. I don’t expect everyone to get it, but I also hope that my newly beloved brand isn’t looking down its nose at me and sneering if I commit an inadvertent faux pas.
Anyway, I love what you’re doing here. Your writing crackles. Keep it up!
This is exactly what I meant. Instilling insecurities in people (which is different from having a style POV) to sell them something isn’t what I thought creative pragmatism was about.
I have quite a few Tibi pieces - second hand and new - and what I’ve realised over the years I’ve been following is that I now know what I like, what suits my lifestyle and what makes me feel like me, I’m actually wanting a lot less. The prices are 🤯. Especially when they get converted to AUD so I’m really careful about what I buy. And what I have I wear a lot. I went down the rabbit hole and I came back out - my husband refers to it as the cult! I just wish people would let people be - wear what you want, what makes you feel good (or for so so so many people, wearing what you can afford because you have no choice).
Thanks for sharing! I loved Tiia's piece, and now yours. Style is personal and therefore cannot, should not be judgemental.
What triggered me was the discussion about giving compliments. Whether you should give a compliment on clothes, outfit, style. And what if it is not your style. Too much overthinking. I give a lot of times compliments to someone not my style. But I like it on that person. Because it is personal. A compliment makes someone happy, and the happiness returns.
Not bashing Tibi or Amy. I learn a lot and apply some ideas. Within my personal style.
Tiia was the accelerator, but here You wrote down exactly the topic I've been discussing on DM with both Tiia and Nicole @nho_journal. It only needs a few to lead. And now I'm eager to read other comments on Your great piece! Good ee didn't had to wait until Friday😀
Thanks for writing this! You put into coherent words what I have been feeling / thinking. I have always been a Tibi fan but have always stayed very far away from these rules (that Tibi pretends are not rules) and have never really embraced the label of a CP. I feel the moment you put a label on something it necessarily requires an (often abject) “Other.”
Someone said that as soon as they put words into something it flattens for them and that really resonated. Something about the poetry of it all is lost.
Yes, words can flatten the emition, the mystery. The duality of words. They make concrete which helps understanding your style. But there it stops, they should not determine your style.
You need to be a good poet to use words to tell more than the words.
Brilliant piece and writing, thank you for sharing! I realised I needed to check myself and disengage from Tibi and the obsession with style guidelines when I went out for a walk with my son and I felt actively bad that what I was wearing was a bit meh compared to the outfits I wear normally. Literally no one cares what I wear except for me and being so deep in the tibi-verse has warped my brain into prioritising thinking about what I am wearing over just enjoying the moment.
Thank you for the reminder that personal style is just that - personal. It shouldn’t be defined by how it compares to what people around you are wearing.
I'm sorry you felt that way, but it's great that your self-awareness helped you course-correct. Hopefully, your relationship with personal style is in a better place now! Thank you for sharing this.
An important piece…thank you! It is necessary when I am working with clients to appreciate where they are and what they like as we help them achieve their PERSONAL style goals 🙌🏼Also there should be a “take what you need and leave the rest“ attitude toward what anyone is offering up as their words of wisdom‼️
Great insights. It’s important to keep following the money with this ‘mullet’ idea (i.e., the customer feels like the only pieces that fit the bill to be cool are made by Tibi).
I think part of style is taking risks and evaluating if you actually genuinely like something and listening to your gut. Am I feeling a little uncomfortable in this because I’m pushing myself to try something new or is that nagging voice telling me this actually isn’t me?
I do wonder how people will feel about the cut outs and unique aspects that are on a lot of their pieces.
This has become a tribe, if you dont fit in or say something against the brand it feels like the tribe will defend the brand and you are on the outer and I no longer feel welcome.
true. our knee-jerk reaction in the current culture is to fully support women-run businesses, but are we consciously ignoring the 'bad ick' to do so? the list is long when we really look at the brand critically. add to that the mean-girl, elitist mentality oozing out at the cracks. tell me why this brand deserves my fandom?
I like looking at Tibi clothes and outfits. That style kinda speaks to me. However, I have to be honest, the written content seems overly complicated to me and reminds me of digging through overly complicated policy papers that are trying to say something quite simple in a "big wordy" way to sound impressive.
Thank you for this insightful piece. While I have both watched the style classes (and learned) and purchased several pieces, I find myself wondering if I was caught up in the spirit of a community that is really no different than all the other “IYKYK”/exclusive fan girl communities—if you’re going to play in our sandbox you think critically about your style, but don’t dare speak critically about our brand! The real ick, is the disrespect and disparaging comments about others style when the fact is, much of that style is worn by women who purchased/supported Tibi for the past twenty years before Amy made the pivot to being a CP!
Thank you for the shout-out! There's a difference between being humorously critical and punching down on other people. Seeing the screenshots of Amy's IG stories reminds me why I'm better off on my own. I have no need to label other people's style in order to figure out my own. It's not a race. (And of course, having said that: I still appreciate Amy's style knowledge, business chops, and all that.)
Tiia, you were so brave, and I have nothing but admiration for you.
This...hits. When I first started following Tibi (during peak COVID, like many others, I suspect), I felt like I had found a home. Granted, Tibi is far out of my price range, but it felt like a brand that was trying to lead with ideas and community. It didn't matter if you couldn't afford the clothes full-priced; what mattered was if you wanted to talk about style in a substantive way. It felt different and against the increasingly out-of-reach fashion landscape, so welcome.
Lately, though, I've been disengaging, for many of the reasons you mention here. It's become so much more focused on selling specific products and by extension, membership in a specific group to which I do not belong. I feel that the mentions of the target demographic--executive, lawyer, etc--have become much more frequent and overt. References to "our clients" scan as illustrative of a club to which I cannot belong. I've noticed more criticism of people, and where I once felt welcome, despite not fitting the ideal client mold, I now feel excluded. Maybe I'm projecting, but the dialogue here makes me feel like there's been a shift.
A couple things I've been telling myself. One is that brands are not people, and they are not your friends. I think Tibi has blurred that line by foregrounding the people behind the brand so much, but ultimately: it's a brand. I think the way they've humanized the brand has been double-edged; on the one hand, having actual people affiliated with a brand speak directly to you is nice! On the other hand, it creates an illusion of intimacy and personability that is maybe just that--an illusion. The other is that one brand doesn't have to own the conversation about personal style. In fact, it's oxymoronic to suggest that it should! I've connected with a lot of wonderful people (many of whom are expressing similar things) through the community that Tibi has built. All of our own beliefs and perspectives about style are equally valid, even if we don't have the platform and the $500 shirts through which to channel them. Let's keep lifting each other up and widening the conversation!!
Absolutely. I understand that brands have target audiences, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I was just a customer who happened to love creative pragmatism as a style approach. I wasn’t part of the Tibi community. And even though I’m not their target audience, I still connected with the concept of CP and wore the brand a lot. It’s just so sad to discover that CP isn’t what I thought it was after I endorsed it 100% on my piece.
I should have known better!
I feel like how the brand defines it (or at least how it applies the definition) has changed somewhat! I definitely connected with it, but now it feels like rather than a personal tool or a framework for making sense of how to connect to your wardrobe, it's being used as a measuring stick to against which to assess other people's style (or your own). It's subtle but I feel like I've noticed that more in recent posts and style classes!
to be clear: still love the brand! and amy's writing and thought process. this is all stemming from personal feeling: this time last year, i felt actually WELCOME by the brand; i even got a rando invite to their show (me! an early-30s nonprofit worker!) and it felt like they were trying to reach beyond the work of selling to a particular set. now, i'm not so sure! certainly, it's felt like it's changed.
I didn’t focus much on the retreat talk, but it seemed like she was celebrating these incredible women without putting down those with different lifestyles or ideas of success. Did you catch something I missed?
Thanks for sharing. I participate in the CP world much like you. Avid style class watcher, follow many of the CP base, and shop sale and resale. I have become increasingly aware, I’m not who Amy is talking to. Even though I once felt excited to feel like I belonged in that CP space and mindset. And lately. There is this mean girls undercurrent? I couldn’t put my finger on it - you did a great job here doing just that
The mean girl undercurrent has been very overt and I hope Tibi reassesses it. They built something really valuable and “arribismo” is not part of it.
I have spent a small fortune on Tibi over the years but I have really gone off the brand because of the mean girl undercurrent. It came to a head for me when Amy posted a screenshot of a group thread when they were traveling to do the photoshoot for this fall’s collection. She quickly deleted it but multiple team members including Amy were belittling the other passengers on the plane, saying they had no style, complaining about coconut scented shampoo, and suggesting they fly private next time. So much for “there’s no such thing as good or bad style”. It honestly made me nauseous and I can’t get it out of my head when I look at their marketing content or watch the lives ☹️
This is the kind of stuff I can’t align with especially now that I have daughters, who btw love coconut scented shampoo.
I've feeling/questioning a mean girl undercurrent too.
Laura, bravo to you for your precise analysis. You’ve put words to some vague feelings I’ve been grappling with. I’ve become a tibi/amy acolyte over the past year, and I adore what she’s doing stylistically. The CP concept speaks to me. I have devoured her writing and lessons on proportion, the good ick, the color wheel- it’s all super legit. The recent mullet stuff kind of lost me, though. Like you, I read those posts and the Substack, and I started feeling some nagging self-doubt: wait, am I being ironic (please!) or have I just stepped out in a mullet (god no!)?
For me, fashion is a fantastic way to express myself. And sometimes, frankly, I just want to goof off with my clothes. I don’t expect everyone to get it, but I also hope that my newly beloved brand isn’t looking down its nose at me and sneering if I commit an inadvertent faux pas.
Anyway, I love what you’re doing here. Your writing crackles. Keep it up!
This is exactly what I meant. Instilling insecurities in people (which is different from having a style POV) to sell them something isn’t what I thought creative pragmatism was about.
I have quite a few Tibi pieces - second hand and new - and what I’ve realised over the years I’ve been following is that I now know what I like, what suits my lifestyle and what makes me feel like me, I’m actually wanting a lot less. The prices are 🤯. Especially when they get converted to AUD so I’m really careful about what I buy. And what I have I wear a lot. I went down the rabbit hole and I came back out - my husband refers to it as the cult! I just wish people would let people be - wear what you want, what makes you feel good (or for so so so many people, wearing what you can afford because you have no choice).
Thanks for sharing! I loved Tiia's piece, and now yours. Style is personal and therefore cannot, should not be judgemental.
What triggered me was the discussion about giving compliments. Whether you should give a compliment on clothes, outfit, style. And what if it is not your style. Too much overthinking. I give a lot of times compliments to someone not my style. But I like it on that person. Because it is personal. A compliment makes someone happy, and the happiness returns.
Not bashing Tibi or Amy. I learn a lot and apply some ideas. Within my personal style.
Yes, yes, yes. Mean girls undercurrent but also I’ve drifted away because I’m feeling cynical and like style class is just an extended infomercial.
Tiia was the accelerator, but here You wrote down exactly the topic I've been discussing on DM with both Tiia and Nicole @nho_journal. It only needs a few to lead. And now I'm eager to read other comments on Your great piece! Good ee didn't had to wait until Friday😀
Tiia was extremely brave and honest and I appreciate her voice on this platform.
Thanks for writing this! You put into coherent words what I have been feeling / thinking. I have always been a Tibi fan but have always stayed very far away from these rules (that Tibi pretends are not rules) and have never really embraced the label of a CP. I feel the moment you put a label on something it necessarily requires an (often abject) “Other.”
Someone said that as soon as they put words into something it flattens for them and that really resonated. Something about the poetry of it all is lost.
Yes, words can flatten the emition, the mystery. The duality of words. They make concrete which helps understanding your style. But there it stops, they should not determine your style.
You need to be a good poet to use words to tell more than the words.
Brilliant piece and writing, thank you for sharing! I realised I needed to check myself and disengage from Tibi and the obsession with style guidelines when I went out for a walk with my son and I felt actively bad that what I was wearing was a bit meh compared to the outfits I wear normally. Literally no one cares what I wear except for me and being so deep in the tibi-verse has warped my brain into prioritising thinking about what I am wearing over just enjoying the moment.
Thank you for the reminder that personal style is just that - personal. It shouldn’t be defined by how it compares to what people around you are wearing.
I'm sorry you felt that way, but it's great that your self-awareness helped you course-correct. Hopefully, your relationship with personal style is in a better place now! Thank you for sharing this.
An important piece…thank you! It is necessary when I am working with clients to appreciate where they are and what they like as we help them achieve their PERSONAL style goals 🙌🏼Also there should be a “take what you need and leave the rest“ attitude toward what anyone is offering up as their words of wisdom‼️
Great insights. It’s important to keep following the money with this ‘mullet’ idea (i.e., the customer feels like the only pieces that fit the bill to be cool are made by Tibi).
I think part of style is taking risks and evaluating if you actually genuinely like something and listening to your gut. Am I feeling a little uncomfortable in this because I’m pushing myself to try something new or is that nagging voice telling me this actually isn’t me?
I do wonder how people will feel about the cut outs and unique aspects that are on a lot of their pieces.
Yes, bravo! You just wrote about what I’ve been feeling & thinking. Thank you for your thoughtful candor.
Thank you for being here!
This has become a tribe, if you dont fit in or say something against the brand it feels like the tribe will defend the brand and you are on the outer and I no longer feel welcome.
true. our knee-jerk reaction in the current culture is to fully support women-run businesses, but are we consciously ignoring the 'bad ick' to do so? the list is long when we really look at the brand critically. add to that the mean-girl, elitist mentality oozing out at the cracks. tell me why this brand deserves my fandom?
I like looking at Tibi clothes and outfits. That style kinda speaks to me. However, I have to be honest, the written content seems overly complicated to me and reminds me of digging through overly complicated policy papers that are trying to say something quite simple in a "big wordy" way to sound impressive.
Thank you for this insightful piece. While I have both watched the style classes (and learned) and purchased several pieces, I find myself wondering if I was caught up in the spirit of a community that is really no different than all the other “IYKYK”/exclusive fan girl communities—if you’re going to play in our sandbox you think critically about your style, but don’t dare speak critically about our brand! The real ick, is the disrespect and disparaging comments about others style when the fact is, much of that style is worn by women who purchased/supported Tibi for the past twenty years before Amy made the pivot to being a CP!