25 Comments
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Nomin Boutchard's avatar

I was an AD at agencies, too! Now going through the metamorphosis of becoming a mom of a little spunky girl and reexamining my relationship to all parts of my life, including my career.

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Laura Kirk De Valencia's avatar

Oh you know exactly how it goes 🙃

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Kate's avatar

Loved this! It hits on a personal level for me (always too much, too earnest, too wanting, too excited, too loud) and also your outfits are just *chef's kiss. Clothes put together in the kind of way that seems authentic, lived-in. . . collected, not just bought. Very inspiring.

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Laura Kirk De Valencia's avatar

❤️ thank you. Here’s to all of us who’ve been told we’re “too much” and decided to be too much anyway!

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Asta / Aastha's avatar

Here's to those of us who are too much and are OK with it, after years of self love. <3

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Laura Kirk De Valencia's avatar

Cheers!

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Emily Grady Dodge's avatar

Laura! Your writing is so perfect, I want to restack every word. I too suffer from being too much, too loud, incapable of containing my thoughts to just my own brain. Thank for writing this and thank you for being here. I love it all 💕

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Kelly Williams's avatar

Same!! Turns out, I imagine, there are lots of women nodding and saying yes. For so long it’s been better to be demure (see the viral sound on TikTok) but that means that when I let my guard down at a particularly fun dinner I go home and worry if everyone found me annoying. I hate that feeling.

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Emily Grady Dodge's avatar

The talking-too-much hangover, I’m very familiar! It’s gotten easier for me to ignore that inner voice, but I still struggle with this!

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Laura Kirk De Valencia's avatar

There’s something freeing about knowing we’re not alone in this, right?

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Cecelia Cox's avatar

Love this. Agree women are head-nodding across the internet here. Can you share a link for the black denim shirt in the first look? 🙏🏻

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Sita's avatar

I definitely relate to being “too much” especially emotionally, for pretty much every man I’ve dated.

I can also relate to the self- reflection over writing a newsletter. I always wonder why I want to write it and if anyone cares what I have to say and am I just navel-gazing in public. But I also have this pull to write.

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Laura Kirk De Valencia's avatar

The pull is real my friend

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Susan B's avatar

Hi Laura. Thank you for writing this post--may I ask who makes the "puffy pants" you are wearing (with the blue sandals)? I like them a lot! Thank you!

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Laura Kirk De Valencia's avatar

Thank you!!! The sweatpants from the first picture are tibi calders. The bubble skirt im wearing with the white top I got from amazon last year. I’ve worn it a lot and it’s great. Lmk if you’d like a link :)

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Hadilly's avatar

Yes, skirt link please!

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Kelly Williams's avatar

I’m fairly certain they are the Tibi Calder sweatpants…

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Tiia VM's avatar

This was so beautifully written, Laura. As someone who has always felt that I'm "not enough" rather than "too much", a lot of what you write still resonates with me. I sometimes wonder if the experience of being a woman is about vacillating between those two poles of being.

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Francesca Belluomini's avatar

Please never stop being you! Leave the “too much” or “too loud” to those intimidated by uniqueness, their loss!

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Kelly Williams's avatar

By the way, Laura, who makes the incredible coat you are wearing?!

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Laura Kirk De Valencia's avatar

The black one? You won’t believe it, but I found it hanging on a kids’ rack at Target while looking for pjs for my daughters. I think it was from one of their designer collabs, and I didn’t hesitate for a microsecond! I had been looking for a good raincoat, the length was perfect, the sleeves were oversized but just right, and the material (nylon) was no different from what high-end brands offer. It was also…12 dollars🫦

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Kelly Williams's avatar

Not me running to Target now 🏃‍♀️ anything under $20 is a no-brainer.

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Debra's avatar

I adore you exactly as you are. Keep on being as Laura as you want to be! This is my New Year's resolution every year, to be even more myself and less self conscious.

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Gerti van Lier's avatar

Thanks for this post Laura! It made me think of French fashion journalist Sophie Fontanel, who wrote that selfies have made her accept and love herself. That inspired me to post on IG.

What you write about this weeks outfits resonates a lot too. I am in a similar phase. We have rain and cold. My outfits are pragmatic, yet still me because they are the clothes I've chosen.

Your outfits are always inspiring!

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Laura Kirk De Valencia's avatar

Ooo Gerti. I love Sophie too! And your selfies are a constant reminder of practicality holding hands with creativity

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