You don't have to be Cher to be a self-referencing queen

Forgive me if I’ve said this before (I tend to repeat myself), but why do I expect my clothes to mirror some fixed, perennial self—sometimes at the expense of curiosity? Yes, experiments fail. They can be embarrassing. Underwhelming. Expensive. But sometimes, they unlock something—a feeling, a version of myself I didn’t know was there. At the very least, they make me realize it’s not that I hate sunglasses perched on my head, just that I needed a cloth cap à la Davina. Brilliant!

I resist change when it threatens the way I see myself. But one thing I have learned through my immigrant experience is that clinging to a fixed identity might mean missing out on the thrill of discovery. Let alone growing. So what if I make it work the other way around? What if what I wear doesn’t have to reflect who I am (whatever illusion that is) but reveals who I could be? At least for a day, for a month, for a few years. We are playing here and the experiments don’t have to be seismic. They can be as simple as adding a dangly earring or trying a color I think doesn’t suit me. Or, per

Irene Kim (김애린)

‘s method, it could be in the act of self-referencing my old outfits and tweaking one or more elements—an extremely helpful exercise I tried this week to give new life to old clothes but also for assessing the evolution of my personal style.

THE SELF-REFERENCING EXPERIMENT.

1. Pencil skirt & t-shirt:

Back in 2018, I ordered the midi skirts Raf Simons designed for Calvin Klein and after waiting for weeks, I was eventually notified that my order had been canceled. I guess they sold out. In retrospect, I should have known the Zara dupe I’m wearing on the 2018 picture wouldn’t be a permanent fix, but live and learn. (Still looking for the Raf skirt on the second-hand market.)

COS t-shirt, J.crew belt, Zara wool midi skirt, Brigitte Tanaka organza embroidered bag, Baku Artesanal handmade furry calfskin bolillo shoes.

The 2025 t-shirt has a boxier fit with longer sleeves, which I feel more comfortable in. Especially when paired with a pencil skirt—I have referenced this formula on my instagram highlights. Also, the furry bolillo shoes are a little slimmer, and I added the bag for that pop of red I was missing from the 2018 picture.

2. Midi dress and long coat:

Same cotton midi dress from 2019, but a new coat as I donated the camel one. It was a great quality coat, but for a couple of years, I’ve preferred longer coats that fully cover whatever I’m wearing underneath, like this off-white one from 2025. I just feel it elongates me and while I love my 5.1 stature, I also love a trompe l'œil.

Finally found a link to the tote bag, old second-hand H&M wool coat but I found this and this!!!, cotton long-sleeve dress from 2018 but here is a great alternative and it’s reversible, and my good old Justin cowboy boots.

I also updated the canvas tote and swapped the white Gucci loafers (which I still own and love) for black cowboy boots that blend with the black dress. Longer, dangly earrings also felt right and it’s definitely something I wouldn’t have worn in 2019 as I thought were too…idk, uncool? Funny how perceptions change. Worth investigating the why.

Also wouldn’t mind adding the sailor hat, another thing I probably wouldn’t have worn in 2018 but started experimenting with after The Row spring 2024, Marni spring 2025, and this post from

Leandra Medine Cohen

. I may hate the hat in 10 years and that’s fine.

3. Silk robe:

I created another highlight on my Instagram for the silk robes that have been catching my eye lately. This one is from Colombian brand Atelier Crump, which I would wear buttoned from mid-thigh up to reveal the pretty round collar (something I didn’t feel very me in 2018), to contrast with the boxy toe of the old Céline shoes.

Here’s the Mary-Kate Olsen way in which I’d also like to wear the robe this spring: with a Colombian mochila, dangly earrings, fuzzy flip flops, and good old non-stretchy jeans:

Found this Dries floral silk robe on TRR and this one from La Perla, shearling flip flops are old Tibi but how about this fuzzy Birkenstocks?

4. Wool a-line skirt & blazer:

I wore this outfit to visit DIA in 2019, but today I would swap the Common Projects sneakers for my Baku shoes for extra “skin”, replace the blazer with a Colombian wool ruana, and add a brooch. I would also update the canvas tote:

A top from The Frankie Shop with a similar shape but in scuba material which I recently ordered and loved!!!! Similar skirt, Baku Artesanal shoe which I can’t recommend enough.

For a great ruana— I suggest Taller Vivo, Artesanías de Colombia, or Colombian brand Priah Heritage.

5. Oversized vest:

New version of the 2017 Tibi vest.

One of my first Tibi purchases was this vest, which I still own and adore. In the summer, I swapped the cropped skinny jeans for bermudas and the sneakers for leather flip-flops. I also added accessories—usually my coral heirloom necklace (links on outfit 7)—and my big old Céline tote (here in gray)

6. Blazer + capri pants

Wearing the same vintage Polo Ralph Lauren double-breasted blazer, but put my hair on a ponytail to reveal the blazer shoulder structure, swapped the cropped leggings for knee-length capri pants, added sheer tights, and a white seashell pendant that creates a visual dialogue with the white pointed-toe shoes.

If I were in Rome again on that cold spring night, I would add a cashmere wrap and layer the shell necklace on top. I would also try tucking in the blazer:

Shell pendant by Cotton Gunter Studio, White + Warren travel wrap.

Or not:

The capris are a little ill fitting so I might need to replace them soon.

7. Military green pants:

The Gap linen military-green pants I owned in 2018 were replaced with Matteau fisherman pants in 2024. The strings are longer, they wrinkle less, the fit is roomier and much more comfortable. The Saint James Breton striped shirt from 2018 was replaced with a Kule one, which has a less pronounced collar and is made with thicker cotton. I would swap the short black beaded necklace for a longer coral one for a touch of color. And I would probably switch the sandals for my cobalt blue Havaianas for a bit more “skin”:

Vintage coral necklace, another one, another one, and Ok I’ll stop.

In colder climate:

Similar vintage tapestry bag, a floral one, and a lovely needlepoint one.

8. Long sweater dress:

Same sweater dress and shoes but I swapped the jeans for cropped flare pants. Today I would accessorize more— add my Navajo bolo tie, a mini mochila, and my mantón de Manila for added texture:

Similar sweater dress, Chanel slingbacks but you know I’m also a fan of these Naturalizer ones, second-hand Navajo Bolo tie but I also love this Art Deco square necklace and this coral square pendant, manton de Manila (here’s a gorgeous one), and mochila Arhuaca

The beauty of the exercise was in what it lacked: no cruel comparison, no fashion police before-and-after. Neither something to correct nor to redeem—simply an evolution, new proportions, an opportunity to observe. Just a similar outfit with updated pieces and no moral qualifications. No left bad, right good; left good, right better. Old versions that do not serve me replaced by others that do. A testament to time, to the simple fact of having been.